I feel like my entire life has been a waste. ... help Reddit App Reddit coins Reddit premium Reddit gifts. Cookies help us deliver our Services. My future for now seems to be finishing my bachelor's degree and finding a job so I can eventually move to some shitty apartment far away so my family and friends don't have to watch me deteriorate. Of course, that doesn’t mean it won’t happen in the future, which is why this is something you need to read. But I think the biggest reason I can't seem to love myself is that I can't meet my own needs: I have barely any physical intimacy or romance in my life. Press J to jump to the feed. Every day since I was 14. By using our Services or clicking I agree, you agree to our use of cookies. Not for a one night stand let alone for marriage. The last few months have been bad. You are most certainly NOT defective or alone in these feelings at all. Press J to jump to the feed. I've lost alot of friends who do not understand this, and a relationship. I express my love, appreciation, and affection to my friends and family so much more now and I even enjoy being around them more. Long post: TW: Suicide, Self-hate, Eating disorder. When I was little I wanted to do and be so much. We were very happy to start off, but we drifted apart when we started college, she wanted to be an actress and I … I don't think I've lost hope. It moves Emotion. I think I'll eventually die and it will hopefully be alone and no one will get hurt. Maybe you all could post some specific examples of why you love yourself? There are people who believe that loving someone until the end of time is a virtue and pride themselves on never giving up loving a partner, even if the relationship is over. It scares me. I used to be able to make friends. Apart from my job and creative endeavors I wanted a family. I know I've done lots of good things in my life but I can't get past this at the moment. I can't love myself. I'm unhappy because of me. I have been working hard all my life hoping some time that I would love myself. Finding joy in what I do with my time every day, having a relentless sense of humor about any and every. I didn't like myself before then too, but atleast I had childhood innocence and the world seemed brighter and I felt like there were more possibilities. Started with magic morning just now and lots of meditation. I’ll never be happy again. I used to have a really high sex drive but it has waned as well. I feel like if ever someone actually wanted to be with me I'd just be inadequate and disappoint. Denial in thinking that things will be better and denial in thinking that I'm worth something. "OK, you made a mistake. Once I forgave myself for that. We often get so caught up in whether we’ll ever find love, if we’ve had it and let it slip between our fingers, or if we have it right now and just don’t know it. I think most people don't talk about physical touch needs because they satisfy their needs most of the time so they don't think about it. I could start interrupting the "I fucking hate myself I want to die You're a fucking idiot You can't do anything right you fucking retard" chorus that had occupied my skull for years. Like any regular guy I watch porn and masturbate. To expand it so that even more Love can flow through it. I don't think I'm good enough. And don't even get me started on intimacy. But I just don't know what to do. “Make the most of yourself....for that is all there is of you.” Hope your hand gets better soon. Denial again. And the worst part? I suppose in a way it was denial. I know in a few years, less if the weight gain increases, my knees and back will start to hurt and a myriad of other negative drawbacks. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. That's why, once a relationship stops making us … as far as the being in love with your straight best friend it sucks, and as much as it hurts it is unfortunately a right of passage for all gay people. A big hug. I've been married for 21 yrs but I can't stop thinking about an old girl friend of mine. I'm becoming numb to it. I used to eagerly await and even review new releases and now I don't listen to music even a tenth of the amount I used to. Now wonderful wife and daughter and still the same daemon as in I am the one holding myself back with negative imaging. We love each other and we love most things about the life we've built. I'm still wrapping my head around the idea of loving myself even if I can't meet my physical intimacy or romantic needs. I fell last week and have a cast on my wrist. I used to feel this ache in my belly to write and play and record and now its nothing. 1) Start small. I can’t no longer ignore it. At this point I don't have anything to offer pretty much anyone. I'm also guilty of promoting self love quite heavily and until recently, I didn't realise just how isolating that can be for those who feel like they just can't love themselves. When you love someone, it's hard to accept the signs your heart isn't in the relationship anymore. Now not so much. So I guess I have a hard time seeing why I should love myself - I've only got a few things going for me and I'm terribly awkward around most people. And I don't really know how to do that. I don't blame women for not wanting me. I hate looking at myself in the mirror. Pretty soon people start to see that, and You love myself more each day. I'll always know. And now I can feel it starting to take its toll on my body. My hand is damaged right now and I can't type fast. For a long time, I've always felt like there's something wrong with me because I've never been in anything even close to a relationship (despite wanting and trying), yet everyone I know seamlessly gets into relationships whenever they want to. I've only seriously considered it a few times when things got really bleak. Watch your reactions when you try to force the love. Really she was more to me than just my girlfriend, she was the first true love of my life. You are changing the world. Not an unhealthy amount. Watch yourself trying to force yourself to love yourself; don't interfere, it's habit by now, just watch it. I'm just so upset with myself. For the longest time I wanted to seriously pursue one of my bands or a career in music/audio production but things didn't go that way. I'm a ball of anxiety that has a bunch of needs that I can't meet, that I never asked for anyway. I don't think I'd be a good dad. I'm me. ut here's how people on Reddit managed to get over the person they thought was their soulmate. A wife and kids to settle down with and raise. 4 years ago. I haven't made a new friend since highschool. Can’t hold tight onto it. People who are in a relationship with a person who cannot love should realize that this has nothing to do with them. I'm not sure what will happen. I used to lay awake in bed and listen to albums and just feel this euphoria. These are a few of the tips I offer patients, as well as ones that I've used myself when I was in the grips of serious depression. Sometimes people can’t love, whether it’s because of something from your past or just the way you’re wired. Cookies help us deliver our Services. Physical intimacy scares me. Things didn't really pan out. I don’t trust you. Used to ask people out, go out and meet people, online dating etc. I've struggled with trying to become healthier and coping with an eating disorder. I cannot imagine someone seeing my inner worth when I struggle to see it myself. I say this a lot here, but -- watch it when you meditate. It's sort of like when I realized that not everyone has anxiety, and how nice that must be to live without it. I haven't written in months. We were touching at all times. I don't think I'd want to kill myself atleast not until my parents pass which will hopefully be in a long long time. You can’t imagine anyone ever falling for you, because it’s never happened before. I don't really hate myself, but I don't love myself either - I feel neutral about it. I loved it so much. The one thing that kept me going was music. Unfortunately, there is no real way to speed up the recovery process. I can’t kill myself. I think I'm pretty funny with close friends, but I have terrible social skills with anyone else, despite trying to get better (and hating the process). Thanks for this article. It is also a subreddit to share your helpful and civil ideas, tips, and advice on how others can improve themselves. Hear me out you depressed soul as i understand your feelings as i have gone through the similar situation and i believe many in this world have too. I am sending you a love award and hoping that other redditors are able to offer you more support. And then, slowly, when I fucked up, I could think. I know we're supposed to value and love ourselves. Sending you my love, (because I can’t send it to myself!) I feel like an utter loser who can’t do anything with their life, except for pitying myself. Part of that is Covid. My depression got so crippling I didn't even want to arrange band practices. Tonight was a very dark night for me, and when I was done, I wanted to kill myself. I used to try. Nothing will ever change that. it annoys me, my bedroom is my "comfort/safety zone". I never blamed anyone else for my romantic failings. I don't deserve to move on from any of the bad things I have going on. I feel like it's a long story and people won't understand if I just shorten it. And this isn't just a lockdown thing - when people have been complaining about not having sex during lockdown, I chuckle to myself because it's completely normal for me to go twice as long as this lockdown without sex. I have been to my doctor for tests and am relatively healthy. I've written so much material and yet not even a single actual release because I don't have the drive or commitment to record my music. And every break it has ever had has only been there to tear it wider. 'Ve had a long storied history with dating and relationships and daughter and the! Few times when things got really bleak yourself to love yourself ; do n't deserve to lose.! Literally hit rock bottom and I ca n't meet, that person loves themselves - no they. In school ball of anxiety that has a bunch of needs that have! 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